Jeff’s Journal

I’m not a resolution guy, but I am a goal guy. I like words. So, beyond the stuff I can’t yet discuss publicly:

1) Write more. While the Kroger Babb bio is my priority, that doesn’t mean I can’t do more other stuff:

a) I’ve always talked about writing a novel, I’m a NaNoWriMo failure 6 times over - a 120k word novel requires about 330 words a day. I think I can force myself to write a paragraph or two a day on most days, right? At the very least, just be able to say I’ve done it. The fact that I have zero faith in any of my ideas or ability to execute them can be dealt with later.
b) I need to get moving on this Babb bio. The window of opportunity is closing on a few things, and with the various life changes that are inherent, if I don’t get a lot of legwork done now, it may hamper my ability to get anything done later. At the very least, I need to get more significant research done - locate prints, locate people, maybe locate an agent/publisher where I can get some help? I dunno.
c) Blog more consistently. None of this “life is depressing and so I need to stay away from my keyboard until I want to explode and then get everyone angry.” It’s no good for anyone, and keeping my mind sharp and informed is important to me.

2) Get healthier. I don’t eat great, and I don’t exercise enough. The federal government thinks I’m 5 pounds away from obesity, which is somewhat ridiculous, but the fact remains that I could stand to lose 15-20 pounds. Dodgeball once a week ain’t gonna do the trick, and my diet is unlikely to change because I simply have too many food issues, but I was at 155 in college and that was fine, albeit when I didn’t eat period. If I were at 165, I’d be pretty happy with myself, to be honest. The other roadblock, though, is that writing about it is pretty much the extent of my significantly caring, so if I really want to lose some weight, my level of caring has to increase.

3) See better movies. I’m actually considering a self-governed project where I’ll watch all of the Best Picture winners in order, but then I fear eventually having to watch The Greatest Show on Earth, never mind Titanic or Crash. But, while it’s fun to throw on Harold and Kumar for a diversion, that’s 90 minutes I could put toward, say, Kicking and Screaming instead. I only watched 30-something movies last year, that’s something I’d like to improve upon.

4) More gaming. Hopefully, this will be easy once Mike’s Genius game gets off the ground, but I would like to feel comfortable enough with things to possibly run a one-shot near the of the year. It’s a goal, hey.

5) Be a better husband. I don’t pull my weight enough, and I know it and Ann loves me for it anyway. I need to stay more aware of it, though, and make a better effort.

6) Be more creative. I haven’t recorded a piece of music in 2 years now, for instance. Even if I’m writing 300 words a day, maybe doing some short stories might be fun. Why hold back?

Actually, I think that may have to be my mantra going forward - why hold back? I’ve become too concerned with my own perception of myself and, as much as I hate to admit it, my own perceptions as to how others see me. I know what I’m capable of. I’m going to be 28 this year. Why hold back?

Mixing memes:

What age did you turn this year and how did you spend your birthday?

I turned 27. I think I actually had to work late on my birthday, if I remember correctly.

Did you keep your new years’ resolutions, and will you make more for next year?

Well, I’d say some of it. Got more politically involved to a point, but didn’t get much done with the book as compared to what I wanted.

What did you do in 2008 that you’d never done before?

Had surgery, I suppose, even though wisdom tooth extraction is hardly surgery. Played a tabletop RPG, which took way, WAY too long for me to get involved with. Quit a job with no actual fallback in place. Was in a movie that people saw. Ate black olives and liked them.

Did anyone you know give birth? Did anyone you know die?

My grandfather died at age 94. That’s the only real noteworthy death from this year I can remember. Congrats to Andy on his second kid, that’s the only one I’m remembering at the moment.

Tell us about some noteworthy things done by people you know.

Chelsea got her movie in a bunch of festivals. That was probably the most noteworthy thing I can think of.

Do any traveling?

I only went 2 hours from Manchester once. Didn’t leave New England at all.

What would you like to have in 2009 that you lacked in 2008?

A less ridiculous work situation, financial stability, a place closer to home.

What date from 2008 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?

No clue.

What was your biggest achievement of the year?

Standing up for myself. As strong a personality I am, I tend to wilt considerably when it comes to defending myself or doing what I think is the right thing. This means both recognizing where I’m correct and admitting where I’m wrong. I’m still not perfect, not even close, but the Jeff of even 2 years ago would have never done what I did concerning the library debacle this year. The Jeff of 2 years ago wouldn’t have apologized for wronging someone so long ago and thus repairing a relationship that had no business being repaired.

What was your biggest disappointment or failure?

The library, the election, the Super Bowl. My relative inaction on the Kroger Babb bio. The American news media.

Did you suffer illness or injury?

Wisdom teeth and strep throat.

What was the best thing you bought? Best gift you were given?

Interestingly enough, I didn’t actually buy all that much for myself. I spent a good deal of money on gaming stuff (video and tabletop), but nothing crazy.

Whose behavior merited celebration?

My wife’s, without question. She trusts me to do the right thing, stands by me when I need her support, and doesn’t hold back when I’m wrong. The fact that she hasn’t bailed on me for a better model after the activity of the last 3 months is a testament to how lucky I am to have her.

Whose behavior did not?

Library-related entities. The American electorate. Manny Ramirez. Benefit Concepts, Inc.. Pigeon.

Where did most of your money go?

Bills.

What did you get overly excited about?

The amount of reading I accomplished. D&D v4.0. Left 4 Dead.

Compared to this time last year, are you:
i. happier or sadder? Sadder. The world was my oyster last year, and this year I have absolutely no clue where I’m going to end up.
ii. thinner or fatter? Same. I’ve been a steady 177-182 for 4 years running no matter what I do.
iii. richer or poorer? Poorer, since my new job is essentially a $10k/year pay cut.

What do you wish you’d done more of?

Worked harder on the book, was more active physically, socially, and politically.

What do you wish you’d done less of?

Moping. Getting too far into my head.

How will you be spending the end of the year?

Ann’s babysitting, so I’ll probably play Left 4 Dead until the clock strikes midnight. I don’t really do much on New Year’s these days, nothing will trump New Year’s 2001/2002 for me. Then again, if something interesting did come up, I might dive at it.

With whom did you spend the most time on the phone with?

I avoid the phone as much as possible.

Did you fall in love in 2008?

Tiffanie’s kitten is quite adorable, yes.

Best TV shows and/or website? (passive entertainment)

The new ones on our plate are Mad Men, 30 Rock and How I Met Your Mother. I don’t think we watch anything else that’s new new.

Websites? Cracked.com is the ultimate timewaster, as is Shelfari.

Best video game?

I spent the most time with Team Fortress 2, Geometry Wars 2, and Left 4 Dead.

Best book/comic?

Book was Anathem, no contest. Comic? Ultimate Spider-Man or the Buffy/Angelverse.

What song will always remind you of 2008?

Interestingly enough, probably “Sultan” by What Made Milwaukee Famous.”

What was your greatest musical discovery?

For so, so many reasons, the Two Man Gentleman Band.

What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?

Must not publicly berate people. Must not publicly berate people. Must not publicly berate people.

How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2008?

How many ways can you match your Chuck Taylors to your button-down shirts?

What political issue stirred you the most?

Other than the election itself? Possibly the Employee Free Choice Act.

Whom did you miss?

Everyone 75 miles south of here.

Who was the best new person you met?

There are a pile of people who fit this here, so I’m just going to say that getting to know Mandy, Bill, Mike, Billy, and Jenny has been a pleasure I’ve not had in quite a long time. Hopefully I don’t irritate them too too much.

Do you hate anyone now that you didn’t hate this time last year?

Must not publicly berate people. Must not publicly berate people. Must not publicly berate people. Honestly, though, not especially. I don’t *hate* the one person who essentially made my life a living hell as much as feel sorry for them, and as much as I get irritated and upset with people I know and love when it comes to matters of personal beliefs, I don’t ever hate them and never could.

What did you want and get?

I wanted little, and got little.

What did you want and not get?

See above.

A valuable life lesson you learned in 2008?

Be yourself, because your principles matter.

What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?

Must not publicly berate people, an Obama loss, and $20k.

Quote to sum up your year.

I’m so bad with quotes, but this one book I read this year, Parenting Without Belief, had a really interesting passage in the introduction that brought a ton home for me in terms of things that went on this year in a lot of areas. It applies to almost everything noteworthy that’s happened with me this year, so yeah:

Oxford biologist Richard Dawkins shares a heartfelt letter to his 10-year-old daughter Juliet about his own intellectual values. …[S]ome others [may] find Dawkins’ approach disrespectful to religious belief. There is a good reason for this: he does not respect religious belief. Not one bit.

This raises an important question…. Is it okay to disrespect someone’s beliefs? Notice that the subject is beliefs, not believers - we can presumably agree that people themselves deserve respect. But can we allow disrespect - not just disagreement, but disrespect - for opinions?

If the word “respect” is to retain any meaning whatsoever, then respect must not be granted to all opinions automatically. I may disagree with an opinion but still respect it, if I feel it was arrived by legitimate means…Though I disagree strongly with my friends, I respect their argument since they back it up with reasoned argument.

I know full well I didn’t achieve this in either direction in many of my doings this year, in more than just discussion on current events but on my life in general. I wish I had seen this in January and not December.

Ah well. 2009 has the potential to be an amazing year, and I’d be smart to embrace that. I’m more comfortable in my own skin now than I believe I’ve ever been before, and that can only translate positively. Let’s hope so, at least.

* There are, as of this writing, 73 aired episodes of How I Met Your Mother.

* Each episode is approximately 21 minutes long.

* Netflix sent the first disc of the first season of How I Met Your Mother to my home, arriving on 5 November 2008.

* On Friday, 5 December 2008, Jeff and Ann watched the episode of How I Met Your Mother that originally aired on Monday, 1 December 2008.

* It took Jeff and Ann exactly 30 days to get through 73 episodes of How I Met Your Mother.

I have absolutely no clue whether to be proud or ashamed.

SCENE: ANN on couch, reading Entertainment Weekly.

ANN: “Toni Morrison isn’t dead?!?”